Burp Pause Interrupt Exit

Babies don’t realize that they need to burp. They just feel uncomfortable. Then they feel better after they burp. Or fart. Same goes for those of us who are grown. The difference is we know we need to burp or to fart. We know we will feel better when we do. We try and make it happen. We move it along. We head toward relief. But when it isn’t gas. When it’s the fumes of emotional or spiritual turmoil. We don’t always know the cause. And even if we do, sometimes we don’t know what will rid us of that “too much” feeling. If we don’t relieve it, if we don’t off-gas whatever it is that we need to, we often end up spiraling out of control towards a complete freakout or spiraling down into despair. People might tell us to “Let it go” but that can be difficult to do if you don’t know what “it” is, or if you don’t know how to burp it away. In Psychology they talk about a “Pattern Interruption” — you know, when something interrupts your spiral. Say you’re angry at someone. You’re telling them off. Not so politely. Then the phone rings. You answer it with a very pleasant “Hello” that breaks the current pattern of what’s happening. When you return to your angry conversation you discover you are just a little less angry than you were. You have to rev yourself back up. That’s why they tell us to walk away. To go outside. To count to ten. Not necessarily to stop ourselves. But rather to stop giving whatever the “too much” that is happening the power to mask what we are actually feeling. To interrupt the spiral so we can do a little self exploration to determine what the heck is going on inside of us. We may not be ready to look yet. We may need a minute. Or an hour. Or a day. Or an ice cream cone or a walk or a movie or a dance or to clean out the fridge. We know what works for us. Not to fix what’s wrong but to give us time. To figure it out. So burp. Or pause. Or interrupt yourself. Or exit if you need to. Come back when you’re ready. Not for anyone else. For you.

Cinse Bonino
2024