Don’t Spray that on Me!

I’m not germaphobic, but I don’t like it when people sneeze and cough without covering their nose and mouth. I am negaphobic however. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind if one of my friends is all doom and gloom because they’re going through something nasty. It doesn’t even need to feel big to me, just to them. Or maybe, they feel super down and don’t know why. All of this is valid. It’s also their choice if they choose to go through life identifying as a victim and expecting doom and gloom at every turn. They say some people see their glass as half full, others as half empty. I suggest that there are some of us who look at our glass and say, “Oh cool, I have some water!” and others who say, “Who the hell drank half my water!?” I find it difficult to be around people who live their lives under a cloud of negativity, for more than short periods of time. I’m cool with respecting people’s right to choose to live their lives in a more doom focused than joy focused manner but I do have a boundary. I draw the line when they start to encourage me to view my life that way. When the tone with which they offer their comments about my choices or my life circumstances ooze doom and gloom. I don’t know what the opposite of a silver lining is, but I am not interested in anyone upholstering my existence with it. I don’t wear rose-colored glasses but I am grateful for many things in my life, and I excel at being a joy magnet. I have structured my life to collect little joys like burrs on my socks when I walk through a field. I have also learned to pause and feel the huge joys in my life all the way down to my toes. I am totally capable of screaming in frustration and sobbing with sadness when that’s what I am feeling. It’s my choice to live my life this way and I’m sticking with it. It took me quite a while to be as joy-proficient as I currently am. So don’t be spraying your gloom and doom on my parade. I don’t mind your honest tears. I’ll even pass you a clean hanky if you cry, but please keep any doom and gloom you’d like to share about my life to yourself. Thank you. PS I firmly believe that doom and gloom, along with a “poor me” mentality act as masks that do the opposite of protecting us. It’s ironic that this kind of viral negativity spreading may actually happen less often if people took off those masks.

Cinse Bonino
2024