In the Bag

(when small is huge)

I’m downsizing. Again. It’s a good thing. Not a bad one. I’m moving across the hall in a building I love. The halls look like something out of a Wes Anderson movie. It’s a very old apartment building — over 100 years — in the middle of the historic district in a small town in Vermont that has quickly started to feel like home. There’s a river. My new apartment has a view of the water. There are falls here. Right in the middle of town. There’s an amazing bakery/restaurant with brioche buns I just can’t quit. (They won a James Beard award.) This place and one other are my favorite coffee places in town. There’s a teahouse too. The tea is outstanding. The tea servers — what’s the tea version of barista? — know my regular order and make it just the way I like it. Some of them are becoming friends. Speaking of baristas the ones at the bun place are pretty special too. They are authentic and smart and quirky in all the best ways. I will be able to see the bun place from my new apartment. It’s located right across the river.

My new place is a studio. I’m moving there from my current one-bedroom apartment. I wanted a studio when I moved here nine months ago but none were available. It’s almost impossible to get an apartment in this building. Everyone told me I’d never get one, but then a little magic happened and I did. Now I get my studio. I move there in three days. I’m ready. Did I mention I am a woman of a certain age? I’m more or less retired. More, because I no longer go to work. Less, because I write and still do some other things. Sometimes for money. Sometimes just for goodness. I got myself a daybed for my new place and bolster pillows on Etsy from this cool group of women in Turkey who sell vintage Turkish rugs and pillows.

I got rid of so much stuff. Clothes I don’t wear anymore because they never really felt like me or now feel like a flavor that’s not in my favorites list. I gave away so many things. I passed on my dishes and got the funky vintage ones I’ve always wanted. I donated things. I recycled things. I feel lighter. I’m creating a small, cozy, artistically pleasing warren for myself. A place where I can write, create art, cook for myself and friends, and just be. I feel connected in this little town. I’m starting to develop a few friendships. And I have so many casual connections that feel anything but casual. About six people offered to help me move. Six people from places I frequent or from my building. It’s kind of amazing.

Even the movie theatre is small here though they do have two screens. I saw “John Wick Chapter 4” the other day with a friend who came to town to visit me. She and I went to the resale shop afterwards, the one that benefits the hospital. The owner guided me toward a small, vintage, Japanese handbag she had put out just before we went in. “I thought of you as soon as I saw this,” she said. She was totally right. I loved it. I bought it. I left the store delighted with my new bag and even happier about being seen, being known, and living somewhere where I feel such a strong sense of home.

Cinse Bonino
2023