Inside Out and Outside In
I tried to take a photo through my window late at night of the gazebo across the street in the town green. It was beautifully lit up with holiday lights. My camera captured the gazebo but also the reflections of many things in my apartment. It looked as if the gazebo was in here with me and that my “in here’ was also part of out there. This, more than any image, represents how I view spirituality. Notice I said how “I” view spirituality. Your way may be different. Mine is just one possible way. Do I think it’s the best one? Of course I do, that’s why I picked it, but I’m assuming you picked yours for the same reason and I totally respect that. This essay is a proselytizing-free zone.
When my son was about two, he asked me, “Mama, do you believe in god?” I said, “Yes, I do, but I can’t tell you exactly what that means. I don’t believe in one all-powerful being in the sky somewhere. I do believe that there’s much more to this life than what we can see.” I touched my heart and continued, “You know how we talk about how we can feel each other in our love place? Well I believe that the whole world, the whole Universe is inside our love place, and that we are also part of the whole Universe that is outside of us.” My son nodded, smiled, and went back to building something on the floor.
When my son got older we started to talk about “the flow”, about being in tune with all the energy in the world, and especially about ourselves being in that flow. I think humans, at least many of us, spend an inordinate amount of time ignoring or pushing against the flow. Who can blame us? We’ve been taught from a young age by Media and Advertising to focus on just about everything other than the flow. I visualize the flow as being comprised of red threads that sing like harp strings with the connections between us all, and not just between humans but all living things, even rocks. I imagine those threads to be spun out of love. There’s not much room in the flow for prejudices or greed. The flow doesn’t care whether you are wearing the “correct” nail polish but it hums contentedly when you are filled with joy about the color. The flow tries to tell us that we are loved. By the whole Universe. It caresses us with acceptance. It wraps us in comfort. It beckons us with promised delights. I used to only have a timeshare in the flow, now I live there. There are of course still days when I take a wrong turn and step out of the flow, but all I have to do is stop, feel my love place and let its vibration reconnect me home.
Cinse Bonino
2022
