Numerology
-0-
I read a post today about a woman who had to click to remove her now dead daughter from being identified as a dependent on her tax form. There is nowhere on the form to enter this mother as the one who is now dependent on keeping her daughter’s memory alive. So much of our lives involves numbers. Plus this. Minus that. But what about the losses we feel in our hearts? Where do those numbers get recorded?
-2-
I saw two shoes, a pair of size 7 1/2 women’s loafers, lined up neatly on the sidewalk of the bridge. The were against the wall above the falls. They were “Easy Spirit” brand. It looked like the aftermath of a suicide. It’s more likely someone just left their shoes there. Maybe they picked up new ones from the resale store’s free bin. Maybe they walked away barefoot from shoes or a life that pinched too tightly. Later, I ran into two women walking down the alley toward the cafe I was leaving. They warned me, “It’s blustery up there,” and it was. They were carefree and easy in each other’s company. They looked like a mother and her grown daughter who have a really good relationship. I hope the soul of the owner of those shoes is also resting easy.
-6s & 7s-
Six of us stood waiting at the bus stop this morning to catch the Link Shuttle. One of them was a man who would talk to anyone. He didn’t care how many years someone had lived or how many pounds they weighed. He just wanted to be heard. He had a lot to say. Some of it humdrum. Some of it bordering on conspiracy theories. But mostly he seemed lonely. There was one person already on the bus when it arrived, so seven of us made the trip into town together. These numbers probably aren’t important. But they were there for anyone to see. For anyone to count.
-4-
This is the month of April. The fourth month of the year. I overheard a female college student on the bus tell her friend she’s had four dates with a guy and the guy complained that he’s only gotten a smooch from her so far. He said he doesn’t want to continue if they’re not going to do anything else. “After all,” he added, I’m gonna be graduating. It’s not like we’re building something long term.” The girl told her friend that the guy had a point.
-3-
Someone else on the bus says that they are going out with friends tonight. There will be three pairs of them in all. They plan to stop and ask people to guess who they think is with who in the group, and to decide which pairings are siblings and which are couples who are dating. “It’s going to be so much fun,” she said.
-34 to 39-
I talked with my mother on the phone. I asked her how old she is now. “Somewhere between 34 and 39,” she answered. “That sounds about right,” I replied. I would be between 8 and 13 if this were true. I’ll be 68 this month. My mom will be 95 next month. But those are just numbers. They don’t matter at all.
Cinse Bonino
2024
