Old Guy New Tricks

Nathan (not his real name), an old guy in his late 70s who I often see walking around town, is somewhat on the thin side, broad shouldered, slender hipped, and quite tall. He wears more clothes than most people do. He often wears wader style boots. I always stop and say hello when I see him. We sometimes have short but meaningful exchanges as well. He frequents one of the coffee places in town that I like. Sometimes our paths cross there. Yesterday was one of those times. I saw him when I returned my empty, pour over coffee cup and carafe back to the counter near the coffee bar where he was sitting. We said our hellos. Somehow we started talking about food. I’m often talking about food but Nathan and I had never touched on the topic before. It started with Nathan telling me that he was going to a different medical professional, the same one he went to years ago that he really liked. This person told him that many of the food restrictions his previous care provider had given him were actually old fashioned or out of date. Nathan sometimes has trouble finding the exact word he is looking for to express what he means. Then he started complaining about the free meals delivered to his apartment. He told me they were disgusting. I suggested that he shop at the co-op. We have a jewel of a co-op in our town. I asked Nathan if he had 3-Squares or SNAP assistance. He didn’t know what it was called but he showed me the card he could use, preloaded with money for buying groceries. He said he had gotten into trouble at the co-op, that they had made him leave last time he was there. He told me that they decided they wouldn’t let him buy anything. He said he got testy. “I said some things I shouldn’t have,” he confessed. He was still angry about what had happened to him. Still upset that they wouldn’t let him buy his food. I explained that he couldn’t use his prepaid card to buy certain foods. I asked him what he had tried to buy. He said he went there to get himself a sandwich. I explained to Nathan that the card didn’t work for all the things in the store, that it probably didn’t work for buying sandwiches. (Later when I looked it up I found out that the card can’t be used to purchase hot foods or food that will be eaten on the premises.) I suggested that he go back and buy the ingredients to make his own sandwiches. He said he didn’t think they would welcome him back.He said someone at the store had told him that they were going to call him to talk about what happened, but he ran out of minutes on his prepaid phone, so he never heard from them. He figured they thought that he decided not to answer their call. I encouraged him to go back to the store and talk to the people at the customer service desk. I asked him if he knew where that was in the store. He said he did and then described where it was located. I suggested that he apologize, that he tell them he had been confused about what they said. It was obvious to me that he really didn’t understand that he couldn’t buy the sandwich when he tried to, that he thought they were simply discriminating against him. He’s had that happen in other areas of his life. I’m betting the people in the store tried really hard to be kind, to be understanding, but that they missed the fact that Nathan was hearing their comments through the filter of his prior experiences. He was sure they were being unfair to him. They were probably convinced that he was being unreasonable. I told him going back to the store in person to apologize for getting upset and to tell them that he now understood there were some things his card couldn’t pay for, would work. “But Nathan, you have to be a

‘good boy’ when you go back,” I said to him with a twinkle in my eye. He chuckled. He knew I wasn’t making fun of him. He trusts me. “It might help if you put a good word in for me next time you’re up there,” he said. We both smiled. He said he’d think about what I had suggested. Then in true Nathan fashion he thanked me in an indirect way. “You know,” he said, “I always see this guy, George, on the street. We always say hello, but yesterday we had a real conversation. I really liked that.” This time it was Nathan’s eyes that held a twinkle. I said my good-byes and smiled over my shoulder at the kind barista who had smiled at me as I was trying to help Nathan out. He’s Team Nathan too.

Cinse Bonino
2024