Rain Parades Floods

We’ve all heard the sayings. “Into every life a little rain must fall. When it rains it pours. Don’t rain on my parade.” They tell us to build our house upon a rock, implying that a strong foundation will keep our house and by extension us safe. But water can always find a way in and sands shift, even those around a rock. We take rain personally. “Why did it have to come now? I wasn’t prepared. No one said it was going to rain. It wasn’t supposed to rain. My phone showed sun icons for the whole day.” It’s not the rain that bothers us. It’s the lack of certainty. Maybe we’re on our way to a first date or an interview. We’re not wearing a coat let alone carrying an umbrella. We become drenched. Home is too far away to go and get changed. Even if we were willing to blow money on buying new clothes there’s not enough time. We feel attacked. Unlucky. Irritated. These types of things that we can’t control make us imagine other terrible things waiting their turn to happen, waiting for their turn to make us miserable. When anything unexpected, not to plan, not aligned with the picture we imagined happens we find ourselves asking, “Now what?”

I’ve decided to stop questioning. No more “Now what?” for me. I’m switching to saying “This now.” Once whatever happens happens, it has happened. It has arrived. It’s here. No railing against the rain. No matter what the “this” may be, it carries an invitation for me to do something. My choice. I will undoubtedly feel things. Those feelings are like water too. They will flow in. Through. Out. They are welcome to wash free any leftover debris from previous storms. I will allow myself to be flooded with anger or despair if it comes. Those waters will recede. The flood line on my inner walls will remind me that I survived. I will use the saltwater of any tears to scrub clean any past occurrences trying to masquerade as dire future certainties. I will choose to pick up hope, to find the joys offered to me when the river of my life temporarily slows, speeds up, or changes its course entirely. I will remember my source but I will not be defined by it. I will flow towards my final reunion with the sea of all that is. I won’t rush. I won’t waste my days. I will remember I am part of the flow. I will honor the one small drop that I am. I will rise and catch the sun’s sparkles on the surface. I will bodysurf. I will float. I will kick like mad. I will continue.