Shaken Not Stirred

We are all flawed. No one, as they say, is perfect. Some think they are. Others fear they are not. Some expect others to be.

I find that last group problematic. Sometimes I find myself in that last group when I get irritated at someone I love when they get unsettled by my doing something different than what they thought I would do in a particular situation or conversation. I forget to notice that they’re not upset or angry, that they’re just agitated. You know, shaken. It’s okay to be shaken. It’s what gets our contents back to being more evenly distributed. But this only happens if we allow the other person to settle. Which they usually will do If we don’t keep shaking them by acting as if their agitation means they don’t care about us. If we are willing to hear what’s happening for them in that moment. If we respect their right to process their feelings. On the other hand if I expect them to be perfect, as in behaving in a manner perfectly matched to my expectations, then I’m the one being perfectly stupid.

Cinse Bonino
2023