Small Kernels of Wisdom

Boundaries are not just for cattle ranches anymore.

Happiness is constructed of small joys.

Pretending is for children. Flaunt your authentic grown-up self.

Life is a rollercoaster. It is filled with ups and downs. But don’t worry you are tall enough to take the ride and you know how to hold on.

Sometimes we need to experience what we don’t want to gain clarity about what we do want.

Walking away is sometimes the bravest and the smartest thing you can do.

If you forget to take care of yourself while you’re taking care of everyone else you will end up resenting those you care about.

Recognize when your inner monologue was written by someone else.

Sometimes external expectations masquerade as self-improvement goals.

Say nice things to yourself. Don’t repeat old insults others put into your head.

Never underestimate the power of a pause.

Don’t apologize for being who you are. If you want to be truly loved or appreciated you have to show them the real you.

Audit your negative emotions. What percentage is about what’s happening now? How much is about what happened in the past or what you’re afraid will happen in the future?

You don’t have to feel 100% sure about something to go ALL IN!

Walk towards what you want. Pause and rest. Refuel. Choose not to panic about not being there yet. You’re headed in the right direction.

When you clean out your closet you make room for clothes you will actually wear. When you stop being friends with people who don’t fit, your friendships will be more comfortable and uplifting.

Treat yourself the way you wish others would treat you.

Be grateful to your body. It’s giving you all it can.

We all need “down” days, days when we do nothing except maybe to indulge in guilty pleasure on the outside so our subconscious can do some work on the inside.

Embrace dark feelings. Allow grief, fear, and sadness to flow through you. Accept the invitation to feel what you’re been suppressing. Pause. Feel. Then figure out what feeling those feelings has taught you.

Open hearts fell both love and pain more strongly. Remind yourself that it’s worth it to leave your heart open.

You do not have to justify your existence to anyone. Ever. Read that again.

Fucking up does NOT make you a fuck-up.

We all revert to old ways of being when we are afraid or fall into doubt or feel vulnerable or wronged. Notice when you do this. Course correct when you are able.

Do one small thing when you don’t know what to do. Clean out a drawer. Stop and smell a flower. Twirl three times. Sing loudly. Anything.

Notice the words you speak. Notice the words you speak in your head even more. If their roots come from a negative place, uproot and repot them. Shake off the old soil before you do.

Be patient when you are learning new steps. It takes time to create new emotional muscle memories.

It’s okay to leave a performance you don’t enjoy. You are not obligated to like everything. You get to choose. You paid for your ticket one or another. You owe no explanations.

Don’t believe people who try to convince you that being nice means having not boundaries.

The opposite of perfection is not failure. The opposite of failure is not perfection. All is learning, whether we realize it or not.

Flit. Be free. Breathe. Enjoy being alive. Here. And now.

Be willing to be generous but choose not to barter for acceptance.

Laugh more. Do it on purpose. Keep going when it happens by accident. Embrace becoming unbridled.

Slow down. Notice what is in-between the moments you are living.

Appreciate your feet. Thank your ass for holding you up. Tell your knees you’re glad they’re still bending.

Don’t swallow food you don’t like. Don’t police your honest reactions. Truth can be truth without being mean. (*See: People not want you to have boundaries.)

Celebrate a good pee, a hefty sneeze, a deep burp. Revel in being alive.

Feed your brain a steady diet of wonder and good questions.

Remember that some things take longer to digest than others. It’s not a race. There is not stopwatch.

Necessity may be the mother of invention but repetition is the axle grease of learning. The Universe sees us multiple invitations to learn and relearn the same things. Embrace this. You haven’t failed — you’ve leveled up!

Voice your appreciation.

If you’re offered bruised or rotten fruit, don’t bite; go and pick your own.

Pain does not equal failure. Pain signals something needs your attention. Listen. Hear.

Your worth is not based on how much you give but rather on how you choose to live.

Guilt trips cost way more than the sticker price. So much fine print. Not a good idea. Don’t buy into them.

Stop feeling guilty for not living up to screwed up expectations from the past or from those you’d be better off ignoring.

Don’t be your own bully.

Notice who really appreciates you.

Floss.

Foundation garments are important. Remember to put on your self-acceptance panties in the morning. And a slip of joy wouldn’t hurt.

Don’t accept gifts constructed out of other people’s shit.

Stop! (Pause), Drop! (Put down your old habit/feeling/response,) and Roll! (…with what’s actually happening here and now.)

Don’t take responsibility for other people’s unkindness.

You don’t have to fix everything. It’s not your job.

Spend your time even more intentionally than your money.

Go ahead and panic for a minute here or there about future pain or death but then return quickly to enjoying what’s here now.

Try not to “get things done.” “Do them” instead.

Chew slowly. Breathe deeply. Slurp loudly. Smile widely. Hug long.

Don’t worry when you forget small things. The big things are written on your soul.

Try new things but only the one you want to, but not just the comfortable ones.

You’re allowed to hibernate when you need to. (Remember to drink water.)

Don’t trust the untreatable more than once.

Cry when you need to. Quietly or with gusto. Let it out.

Appreciate rain. Let it remind you that sometimes our hearts need a rinse.

We all get tired and overwhelmed. Rest. Refuel with whatever works for you. Return. Start again at your own pace.

Shitty people teach us SO much.

Be brave. Communicate.

Buy yourself glorious bedding. You deserve it.

Enjoy washing your hands. Slow down. Let your fingers embrace each other.

Remind yourself that we live in a world that doesn’t make sense (other than physics). Stop being surprised. Learn. Love. Parse. Pick.

Cinse Bonino
2024