Sometimes It’s Good to be Two-faced

Sometimes we need to face something. When it is time. When we are ready. Of course we don’t want to ignore something for so long that it becomes even more of a problem. This hold true as much for bills needing to be paid as it does for conversations needing to be had. It also applies to deciding what to do, be it about a situation or a person.

Do we confront it or turn from it?

Sometimes we need to turn from it for just a while. We need to pause. Maybe we need to gather strength to face it. Maybe we need to sort it. I adore the British term “sorted”.

It makes so much sense to me. Our brains naturally see patterns and sort information into categories, but remember, we create the categories.

Sometimes fear or worry or anger or some other negative emotion encourages us to sort a situation (or a person) in a reactionary, knee-jerk manner into the “wrong” category. It may have ended up in an entirely different category if we had thought things through. Panic isn’t what tanks us. It’s staying in a state of panic. Honor your panic and then tell it to be quiet while you figure things out.

Sometimes your heart and your brain will disagree. It’s up to you to broker a deal between them. Negotiate from your strengths. Don’t trip over places where you are currently feeling vulnerable

Sometimes other people urge us to be decisive, to decide quickly. Sometimes this is important if there is a fire or a shark or some other such unavoidable catastrophic event. But other times we need time. We are not infants. We’ve progressed beyond peekaboo. We understand object permanence.

Sometimes pausing is about gathering more information. Sometimes it’s about reflection. Sometimes it’s finding a way to put on our grown-up pants and do the thing we need to do even if we end up discovering that doing nothing is what is best. Be two-faced in a good way. Be intentional. Choose when you will turn your head away to think, to sort. Give yourself time to decide when you will turn and face whatever you feel you should.

Sometimes you will like the outcome. Sometimes you won’t. You will always have the opportunity to learn. You’ve got this.

Cinse Bonino
2024