Talking Shit

When I was young I used to hide in the bathroom, taking my time, reading a book while I did my thing. I tried to stay in there as long as I possibly could. It felt safe there, the locked door protected me from what my mother might do or what my grandmother would surely do. When all of us were babies someone probably worried about what came out of our little bodies at least as much as they concerned themselves with what went in. Had we eaten enough? When was the last time we dirtied a diaper? That long ago? Uh oh! My mother tells a story about when my sister was quite young and they had to call a doctor to “remove it with a spoon” because she hadn’t moved her bowels in a very long time. Shortly after puberty I developed Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t know what was going on down there. I figured it was just another thing on the shitty side of my life’s ledger. There were many things on the joy side as well, but you know how it goes. The unfortunate things resonate at a higher frequency that seems more difficult to ignore.

They say everything happens for a reason. You know…that belief system that posits that bad things happen for good reasons. I’m not so sure I buy into that. I saw a t-shirt once that said “Shit makes the corn grow.” Someone told me it was a loose translation of an old Chinese adage. I like that. Makes me think that everything that happens offers us an opportunity. Something else could have happened. Maybe a better thing or a worse thing. Of course we wish it had been a better thing, but regardless of what happened or why it happened — whether it was something completely outside of our control or something that happened as a direct consequence of one of our own actions — it always provides us with an opportunity to pause and think. Far too often we base what we choose to do next solely on the fear, hopelessness, or anger we are feeling in that moment. But what if we allowed the shit that just happened to help us? What if we discovered the gems of wisdom hiding in whatever shit was thrown our way or that we had to walk through? Maybe we should choose to take stalk and grow.