Whose Line Are We Toeing?
I’m not looking for advice. I’m just thinking out loud. I don’t want anyone to fix things for me. Too often we, me included, are tempted to slide into Disney® territory, you know, that place where everyone lives happily ever after, except of course for the evil people. The message, in case you missed it, is that if your life isn’t perfect, if little animated birds aren’t singing right near your shoulders, then you must be one of the evil ones.
This outlook fits quite nicely with capitalism and the commodification of virtue and self worth, which tells us to… Buy these products. Give to this cause. Spout these values. Live up to these expectations. Ignore your inner voice and retrain it to spout the company line.
There are many companies and groups to choose from that do not represent you. It will be difficult to tell that they don’t if you’ve already bought into their propaganda. Notice if they play on your fears. Notice how they’ll tell you how to be good enough, to be worthy, implying that you aren’t already. Notice that in order to belong you have to gag your inner voice. Turn your back on your own soul. Notice that their version of belonging does not include acceptance. I know, it sounds as if I’m bring too much drama to the situation. Maybe I am, because it’s actually a farce.
My father used to say, “Everyone gets joy and sorrow. Some people just get a little more of one than the other.” He was a wise man. He was right about many things. This is one of them. The problem with letting yourself be convinced that pain and sorrow happen because you’ve done something wrong is that it makes it much more difficult to weather difficult times. Sure, we all screw up. We’re all human. We need to remember that. We also need to remember that humans are designed to learn. Pain and sorrow, and joy can all be used to learn about our beliefs and actions, AND where they come from. Pain and sorrow, and joy can also be used to convince us to toe the company line.
It’s your choice.
Cinse Bonino
2023
